I’m excited to have my friend, Timberley, here today to discuss married Christian sexuality. She tackles the tough question of how often we should be having sex with our spouse – a very popular question in the area of Christian sex.
How would you rate the frequency of your intimacy with your spouse? Before you answer, think about what your spouse might say.
One of the benefits of the marriage bed is that we can enjoy intimacy with our spouse anytime we want!
Who says Christians can’t have better sex, or can’t have the best sex life? In fact, we should.
God created sex for marriage and for our pleasure!
Unfortunately too many couples fall into a rut when it comes to intimacy. They have a tendency to let the married life (raising a family) get in the way of regular intimacy.
Well that’s about to change.
I have been married for 17 years and early on in our marriage we participated in a 7-Day Sex Challenge.
It was through this challenge, that we learned three Biblical principles for why we should have regular intimacy in our marriage.
I am happy to share that to this day, we still practice these principles, and today I want to encourage you!
What Healthy Married Christian Sexuality Looks Like
Regular Intimacy Reflects Oneness
The marriage relationship is the only relationship that reflects Christ and the Church. And God established our oneness as husband and wife from the very beginning.
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24 (NIV)
When we make regular intimacy with our spouse a priority we are actually fulfilling one of God’s purposes for our marriage.
We establish a closeness….a oneness that is unique to our marriage. And what God has joined together let no man separate! Can I get an Amen?
Regular Intimacy Safeguards Sexual Temptation
When we have regular intimacy with our spouse, we safeguard our marriage against sexual temptation.
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:5 (NIV)
Too many spouses (and I say spouses because it’s not just women) will use sex as a reward for good behavior.
To have a healthy married Christian sexuality, we need to know that God did not intend for marriage sex to be based on a reward system.
Once we say “I Do” our body no longer belongs to us, and is now at the mercy of our spouse for their enjoyment.
One of our daily prayers is that we would only have eyes for each other and desire one another.
While that is our prayer, we put our faith in action by maintaining regular intimacy.
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.” ~ Song of Solomon 6:3 (NIV)
Regular Intimacy Cultivates Creativity
To keep regular intimacy from becoming mundane it will require us to get creative with our love making.
Yes, it’s time to be free with your spouse and not be ashamed. We can use God’s Word as a Christian sex guide in our marriage.
“Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” ~ Genesis 2:25 (NIV)
Our bodies may have changed over time after aging (beautifully might I add), and having kids.
However, that doesn’t take away from the desires we have with our soul mate.
Remember we have a covenant to become one and now it’s time to get creative with our intimacy.
I know this is hard for most women, but ladies trust me. This is an area where you can grow in married Christian sexuality.
Your husband wants to see you, he wants to make love to YOU….OFTEN. So get creative with setting the mood, what you wear, and the timing.
Preparation plays a huge part of our intimacy, but spontaneous intimacy is a good way to switch it up!
The key to regular intimacy is to deeply love and embrace romance in your marriage relationship. This romance doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts in our daily interaction with each other.
If you’re in a rut with intimacy in your marriage prayerfully consider sharing this post with your spouse and seek God for the desire to prioritize your love making.
I pray this encourages you to light a fire in your marriage bed and get busy literally!
Additional Scriptures For Study:
Ephesians 5:22-32; Mark 10:9; Book of Song of Solomon; 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Be sure to check out these Christian sex blogs for more tips for healthy married Christian sexuality!
Timberley and her husband, André, do life together as a husband and wife team who raise a family, serve as bi-vocational Pastors, and help others find the balance in life through their blog Living Our Priorities. Like many people, they found themselves frustrated trying to find balance with their; faith, family and work. That’s when they discovered the priorities of God. And once they purposed to live by them, it not only changed their marriage, it changed their life! Now they find great joy inspiring others to live within the priorities of God. You can find them on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter.