The Girl Who Injected Mud

She told me at first, she just didn’t feel good- ever.

When she talked to family and friends about it, they brushed her off and told her she was fine. Eventually they told her she was paranoid- a freak- “so stop talking about it already.”

She went to the doctor. In his stoic, professional manner, he let her know she was healthy…at least her body was. Her mind?…

The shame and condemnation she began to feel from others for a problem she couldn’t identify began to stoop her shoulders. The messages were sublte: “You’re crazy.”

“Worthless. Nobody believes you. Nobody cares.”

“You’re about as valuable as mud.”

Mud.

Mud. Mud. Mud.

two women standing outside, one seems to be crying and the other is comforting her.

The word became a chain, slipped silently around her soul, and squeezed the color of life from her being.

Slowly. Ever so deadly.

She got a wild idea that maybe she should get some mud.

She did.

Maybe she should put it in a vial.

She did.

Maybe she should carry it in her purse.

She did.

Maybe she should inject it, just a little.

She did.

She began injecting mud.

Anytime she felt worthless, she would inject a little bit, reaffirming her value. “You’re dirt. Maybe you’ll kill yourself and do everyone a favor.”

Her body began to respond to the poisons she was pumping into her system. She lost feeling, suffered from nerve damage. Her already deteriorating health worsened- she couldn’t climb stairs and limped when she walked.

When I read her story in the comment section my heart almost stopped. How I longed to rescue her from the lies- the poison- that ensnared her!

She was asking for help. Was it too late for her? After all she had done to her body, would God still give her a chance? Could God forgive her?

Like I said, the girl ended up finding me by googling “injecting mud” which led her to my article. And she reached out.

Her story deeply impacted me. It still does. Because I’ve asked the same thing. I think most of us as women have. We’ve believed deadly lies- injected poison- and we’ve done terrible things to ourselves and others and we treat ourselves as the outcast who is worthy of shame, contempt, rejection. Mud.

But God…

But God…but God…but God!

But God, when we were dead in our trespasses and sins, made us alive together with Christ- for by grace we have been saved.

Maybe you’ve never injected mud. Maybe your spiritual veins are squeaky clean and you shudder and run from the thought of such darkness. Good for you.

But maybe someone reading this relates. Maybe someone isn’t so clean and wonders if God can forgive you?

My friend, He has.

Those aren’t Sunday School words, they are words spoken by the Someone Himself who left the glory of heaven to dwell in dirt. He came down not just to speak those words but to prove He meant them.

He said it. Woman your sins are forgiven you.”

He lived it. “Forgiving one another even as God, in Christ Jesus has forgiven you.”

He gave it. “In whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

He died it. “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

And then, just to make sure we got it, He proved it. “He was delivered over because of our transgression but was raised because of our justification.”

Start injecting that, my friend.

Start. Injecting. That.

Like I told this young girl, the enemy came and knocked you down and kicked your teeth out and dealt you a blow that sunk you deep and robbed you of life.

But God stepped down from heaven, took on the form of a babe, reached out with Carpenter’s hands, and rubbed the mud from your face, gave the antidote for mud pumped into your veins. “Live!” He uttered. “Live!”

I know what it’s like to believe lies but more importantly, I know what it’s like to start getting those truths into my veins. I know how utterly life-transforming it is. Which is why I’m SO passionate about giving folks an actual method for getting the truth serum in. If we don’t have a system for actually implementing what we know… a way to actually ingest those truths… the medicine doesn’t do us much good, right?

Our FREE WAR ROOM SCRIPTURE CARD PACK  is the way I have personally practiced ingesting truth… and it is life transforming. 

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2 Comments

  1. This was my life back in 2005 through 2008. i’d like to say i have come a long way from that dark place. Symptoms started for me in 2003 and really coming in fast and hard in 2005 and on. In 2018 I found out what i had — what stupid illnesses were taking hold in me. The first is called OPMD — Oculopharyngeal Muscular Dystrophy. In essence your legs and arms will stop work as the muscular dystrophy kills off those muscle cells. You also lose the ability to swallow and open your eyes. The other thing is known as PV — Polycythemia Vera. I still don’t understand a lot about this except that it can be considered like a blood cancer and that you end up with too many red blood cells — which causes damage to the spleen and the liver. If any of you wanted the rest of the story — there it is…

    1. Hi Christina! It’s good to hear from you again! I’m sorry to hear about your physical health, but glad you at least have a diagnosis. How are you doing spiritually? If you’d like to chat, I’m here. You can contact me via the contact form. God bless you! AJ

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