In high school, one of the teachers I most respected said something to me that I’ve never forgotten. It was prom time and he caught me in the halls between class. He asked if I was going to prom.
Now you have to understand I was a very broken teenager. I was a throwaway. And I certainly wasn’t big into proms and dressing up and getting dates. Inside, I didn’t believe I was worth it, I didn’t see myself as beautiful in any sense. I was the girl who’d rather stay home than make a fool of herself and suffer the embarrassment of being the outsider no one wanted.
So I nonchalantly answered, “Well, Nathan asked me but I don’t know…”
And then he said something that brought incredible healing to my soul. He said, “Well I think Nathan made a good choice. I would have made the same one.”
And that was it. He turned around and left me standing there, awkward. Flabbergasted. Unbelieving of what my ears had just heard.
No one had ever believed in me before. Ever. But here was a man I highly admired telling me pretty much that he would have chosen me too. For the first time ever in my life, I understood what it felt like to be accepted. Valued. Worth something.
Y’all, I hate to admit this but I’m crying right now even remembering that day.
You know what that comment did to me? It made me want to live up to what this man saw in me. It made me believe maybe I did have value. It made me want to prove everyone else wrong. It brought out the best in me.
I’m telling you this story for a reason: YOU have done that same thing for me this week.
You see, there’s something inside me, those old voices, that still tell me no one wants to hear me, see me, or have much to do with me. And I’m in my 40’s, y’all.
Sure, I know how to find my acceptance in the Lord and receive His affection… I’ve learned not to seek after the approval of man and I regularly renew my mind with Truth. I don’t struggle like I did as a young woman. But it can get pretty lonely. When you don’t seek or expect the affirmation of others, don’t try to fit in, just live a life focused on doing what the Lord has given you to do.
So when something like this happens??? Oh my word. I want to put my head in my hands and bawl like a baby!
So what happened today, you ask? This:
This is the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Leaderboard. It ranks bloggers according to how many sales they’ve made. I’m blown away to be on the board at all, much less #5. But you know what this means to me? To me it isn’t about sales at all, it’s about being part of a community (that’s you!) who wants to support me, who values what I share, who believes in me. Who actually likes me.
Is it okay for a 40 something year old to say that?!!
Each and every person who purchased the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle yesterday and today is a voice, like that high school teacher, telling me, “I choose you.” YOU PUT ME THERE.
Friend, I am SOOO very humbled by that.
I didn’t expect this to happen but it’s something God is using to speak affirmation into my life. I can tell you what… I want to live up to the bar you just raised for me. I want to work my tail off serving you. I want to make you proud, make our Father proud. And I want to say thank you SO VERY MUCH for believing in me. Thank you for being a very (very!) unexpected voice of affirmation in my life this week. Praise Jesus!!
Now please excuse me while I go have a good cry :)
Seriously, you guys are the best. Thank you so very, very much. I love and appreciate you.
P.S. I know someone reading this is going to ask what the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is and how to get it. The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is a huge bundle of digital resources to help you grow in your walk with Christ and thrive in your personal and home life. It’s a super deal… but it’s only available for a few days! Thank you so much for grabbing the bundle through my link and don’t forget to fill out this form and choose your special BONUS from me when you do!
Oh, and for those of you who are now cheering for me to stay on that leaderboard, I’ll keep you posted over the course of the weekend~ wink. I’m all up for a *little* bit of friendly competition :) To God be the glory.