We travel to Texas and stay in a room next to the couple on Viagra.
All during the night I feel sick. I feel my insecurities, my inadequacies, I wonder if my husband wished I’d take a pill.
Morning comes and he knows me so well. “I stopped being desirous of sex a long time ago,” he says it soft, and it shocks me because I know him… but he wasn’t done. “I’m desirous of you. All of you.”
Oh how I know it. How rich those words are, how full of life and love.
How he shows me every single day and how I grasp for it and why can’t I just accept it and let it shape me? Why can’t I let go of the past?
Ever since before Christmas, he’s been telling me. He’s a January birthday and he’s been telling me what he wants for his present: 100 Days.
It scares me. I have issues. I think, “I’m not up for this,” but then I pray, “God, I want to be.”
“I want to be for him. For You. For our relationship. For me.”
Is it possible? Can someone like me find healing and grace and “energeo” for 100 Days? I mean, I’ve made a lot of progress, am still making it. But 100 consecutive Days?
If I could only believe…
I search scriptures, I cling to promises, I touch my toes in the waters. Will they part?
3 days left before “The Day” I do a Bible search. Is “100 days” anywhere in the Bible?
At first I don’t get the connection, think it is just a grasp at straws. Then I see it.
The mina.
A mina is 100 days worth of provision.
I’ve been given a mina.
A mina can either be invested… or buried.
I’m to invest my mina, because with the gift comes the provision.
The gift IS the provision.
I don’t know how I’ve missed that for so long, but gifts are made to be invested, not buried… and our sexuality is a gift.
When you come from backgrounds like mine, it’s easy to believe a lie. It’s easy to believe that sexuality is an obligation, something self centered and dirty, even a curse.
It is easy to believe that the so called gift doesn’t come with provisions… it comes with a hefty price tag.
Truth is, it’s a gift. But we’ll never experience the provisions and blessings of the gift if we bury it.
We’ve got to invest it.
This Valentine’s Day, we’ve got a perfect chance. It’s a timely opportunity. It’s the day to invest our gifts.
Forget all the hype and the pressure. Just take a moment to consider your gift and how you can invest instead of bury:
For singles: Invest your gift by guarding your purity for your spouse to be. Now is a great time to commit (or re-commit) to sexual purity according to biblical standards.
For marrieds: Invest your gift by giving it away to your spouse. Is a 100 Day challenge too much? How about a 7 Day challenge? Or how about committing to double your current investment? Or setting a certain day of the week aside for something special? Or being in sync with his 72 hour cycle? Take a few minutes to prayerfully commit to investing in some way.
And P.S. It’s okay to be your own “flavor” in the bedroom- don’t let worldly standards be what shapes you. Just invest your mina!
Suggested resources (affiliate links):
Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)
(coming soon!)
Edited post from the archives
I love what He gave you in that verse…
And this post–
This scary-need-for-investing (in this area) is so common (and so often buried) within the church.
We struggled early on in this area (but God has made good on a willingness to invest and let Him grow/heal/transform).
But I know of SO many Christ-followers, who honestly desire that area to be great in their marriage…who also have really struggled.
Stopping to pray for you this morning (I rarely comment, but always find encouragement here
Always feel the connection with the 3 in 3 years (I think your 3 came in 2 years though…right?) and then the adoption process. Praying God will bless your investment.
Love,
K
I just love this post. It is the first time I’ve heard a teaching like this about this subject. Thank you for sharing yourself the way you do, God speaks to me in these blogs, peace and joy.
Next, if you are coming to Texas again, please visit us.
I absolutely love this post & I absolutely love your heart! I am certain that as you surrender yourself & seek the Lord, He will give you the desire of your heart…to invest that gift for 100 days! Honestly, I think it sounds like an amazing challenge that I, myself would love to try. The idea of mina is amazing to me…. God is so good & so faithful! Thank you! Thank you, for being real and for sharing your heart! <3 I'm praying for you!
I’ve been praying for you since reading this post on the 14th… asking God to bless your 100 days. It is revolutionary in a marriage, and I know that you both are already reaping the benefits.
Love ya~
Jennifer