I wake up plumb exhausted…however that’s possible…and tell Jackson so.
He reaches for my hand under the covers, a bit of connection before the day rushes upon us.
“It’s not just body-tired,” I tell him. “It’s heart-tired. I feel soul weary and don’t want to do anything but lay in this bed.”
He rubs my arm before springing out of bed with parting instructions: “You stay here and rest. I’m fixing breakfast this morning.”
I let him.
I know the best way to serve my family today is by first strengthening my heart with grace.
I’ve been in this soul weary place many times. I don’t have all the answers.
But I know sitting with a few aptly spoken words is what I need now more than anything. I need Manna to be Bread and Life to me.
“Lord,” I pray, curled in the fetal position. “I’m not adequate for today. I have nothing left to give.”
“Who is adequate for these things?” He asks me. “Your adequacy doesn’t come from yourself but from Me.”
“Lord, I don’t have the strength to serve these kids, this loving husband of mine, the people I’m called to.”
“You are to serve in the strength that I supply, my child… not from the lack of your own.”
“Lord, I’m not good. I’m lacking in love and I’m selfish and there is so much of ME in the way of YOU.”
“I’ve given you everything you need to live godly in Christ Jesus. Stop looking at yourself and simply trust that My blood has purchased the provision for you.”
“Lord, I will believe. I will believe it isn’t the one who works that sees the miraculous happen, but the one who believes.”
“Yes, my girl, trust. Because I will never leave you or forsake you. I will supply all your needs according to My riches. I am your righteousness. I am your strength. I am your bread and water. I am the Shepherd of your soul. I am the One who purchased your every breath with My own blood. I have redeemed you in every way! You can live working and striving, doubting and weak… or you can live trusting Me.”
“Lord, I believe.”
And within fifteen or so minutes, my soul is nourished and I’m ready to step out in trust. Ready to face the needs and demands of the day. Ready to walk by faith.
Not that I *feel* strong because I don’t. But my faith is restored that God will be there each step of my day, giving the provision as needed.
God’s provisions are just in time. They rarely come stockpiled and warehoused. They come moment by moment, as you need them…and they are only accessible by faith.
If your faith is shattered, your supply line is down and you’ve no way to access the provisions He’s providing. If your faith is weak today and you have nothing left to give, I encourage you to sit awhile with God’s word. Below are 8 Scriptures for when you feel overwhelmed. I return to these when I am empty.
>>> II Corinthians 3:5-6
>>> II Peter 1:3
>>> I Peter 4:11
>>> II Corinthians 9:10-11
>>> Philippians 4:19
>>> Galatians 3:5-6
>>> I Kings 17:1-16
>>> Isaiah 58:10-11
It’s the end of the day now and I am recording this here because I sense the Lord asking me to. I don’t know if anyone needs the encouragement here or not but if you do, may I close with a prayer for you today?
Lord, I pray for my sister (or brother) in Christ. I pray for her faith to remain strong and for Your word to take root in her heart. I pray she would step out in trust today in whatever way You are asking. I pray for her heart to be nourished by Your grace even in this moment, and for her to understand the heights and depths of Your love. I ask for extra margin in her day today… just to sit awhile with Your word and feed on Your promises. Thank You for Your blood that has purchased every provision we need. In Christ’s name, Amen!